Friday, May 16, 2014

How to stop someone from killing Hitler

Estimated time: several years
Needed equipment: a time machine, a history book, charisma, CPR skills

  1. Look up in your history book where and when Hitler was killed and by whom.
  2. Think of several plans on how you can save Hitler.
  3. Pick a date and time when you want to meet Hitler.
Tip: Choose a date a couple of years prior to the assassination. This leaves you with enough time to befriend Hitler and become one of his closest companions. This way he will always keep you close by, improving the chance of you being able to save him.
  1. If you have decided on the ideal day to meet him, set the time machine to said date.
  2. Enter the time machine and travel back.
Tip: Always keep your time machine close by in case you need a redo or to abort the mission.
  1. Meet Hitler and try to become friends with him right away.
  2. If he does not like you immediately, stay consistent. If necessary, join the military and slowly work your way up.
Warning: The latter might involve hard work and violence. If you feel uncomfortable with either, abort mission.
  1. Once you have successfully become Hitler’s best friend, follow him everywhere.
  2. When the day of the planned assassination arrives, you have two choices: take care of the assassinator before he gets the chance to kill Hitler or let him try and revive Hitler afterwards.
Tip: If you choose the first option, your deed will probably go unnoticed. Choosing the latter option, however, will make you a national hero and Hitler will forever be in your debt.
  1. If you choose the first option, locate the suspect and rid yourself of him. This is best achieved by tipping off the Gestapo and he will either be arrested and/or shot. Your job is done and you return to your own time.
  2. If you would rather become a hero and take all the glory, let the perpetrator try to kill Hitler.
    1. Revive Hitler.
Tip: If you do not get it right the first time, wait until you are alone and travel back in time. Repeat until you manage to save Hitler.
  1. Congratulations! You have now successfully saved Hitler’s life.

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